Thursday, April 26, 2007

Of emptiness

I have no idea where life is taking me.

Maybe I'm going places, or merely staying put. How do I know ?

The human mind is always ready to label events. We always want to know if something is good or evil, preferable or not. And my mind in all its ostentatious vanity has termed this feeling 'emptiness'.

Ah ! Wouldn't you know wiki had a page on emptiness? Numbness, that's what it is.

It all boils down to being bored at work, methinks. Somehow it's hardwired that work is everything - well, almost - and when there's nothing to learn, the inquisitive mind dies a slow, painful death. Add to it liberal scoops of schmoozing, sidelining and plain stupidity. Whoa - here's a winning combination for attrition !

That being said, the inquisitive mind looks for positive channels for output. Life is about stretching oneself to the level where one is uncomfortable - and then just a little more. So yours truly has been studying, taking tests and preparing for life beyond airconditioned offices.

Oh, and if you are yet to read 'Think and Grow Rich' by Napoleon Hill, please do so. In this time of mindless browns, this book is a much-needed Holi festival.

Stay positive, people !

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Of marriage

Back to blogging after a long hiatus. And with some really good news ! A close friend of mine got married recently. Umm...Correction - she re-married recently.
N is a phone buddy. We've been talking for several years
now. When we spoke first, she was newly married to someone. One could hear it in her voice. Evidently she found it hard to contain her excitement. And over a period of time, she withdrew into her shell, and refused to talk. One such quiet evening, she told me she was divorced.

I said all that a friend would say, and coaxed her to get back with him. She would not listen, and stayed single for almost a couple of years. All this while, our conversations would include her ubiquitous tip on why to never get married. Living hell, she would say.
And then she called me a week ago with this wonderful piece of news. Her new hubby is a doctor (what's this huge impression with the medical profession?), it's his first wedding, he's totally OK with her situation, and best of all, he is head over heels in love with her.
The difference in voice was obvious. She had gone back to her old excited self, with a tad of maturity thrown in.
Then she popped the million-dollar question - So A, when are you getting married ?
Before I could throw open my jaw in shock, she gave me a whole lecture on how one should not delay one's wedding.
Being single at 28 is a tough task in this country. People's imaginations run wild when they hear 'single', and almost instantaneously there are a hundred reasons in their minds as to why one should be so. Rather, it's treated as an illness. My previous landlord refused to lend me an apartment when he heard of my marital status - he actually thought I was in the trade!
A few months ago, I was on the lookout for an apartment, and contacted a real estate agent via the company. He turned out to be an old hag with an older scooter. The apartment is really close to the office, and he agrees to take me there on his motorized bicycle. In the course of conversation, I casually mention that I'm not married. He screeches the object to a halt and makes me follow him in an auto, leaving me speechless. Needless to say, I used the auto to return home.

And it does not end there,especially not in my village. My mother is now immune to the 'Is she not married yet?! My daughter who studied with her now finished two marriages and three children !' conversations. People want to know why, oh why I'm single. Maybe I have a boyfriend ?! Or worse, a girlfriend ?! A problem with my horoscope ?! Too much pride ?! Too little money ?! A black cat?! A torn t-shirt ?

Eyebrows rise the moment a bachelor walks into my apartment. Or when I crack some jokes with my guy friends. Or when I travel somewhere with them. Or even when I laugh out loud.

Lessons learnt :

1. Married bliss is definitely a perspective thing. The same person in two different relationships gives entirely different advice.

2. No matter how innocent or legitimate the reason for staying single, people refuse to listen. Not that it matters, though.

3. Married folks go green with jealousy when they see carefree singles. They just can't take it, hence they force the singles into a similar fate.

4. The song 'When I was single - my pockets would jingle -oh
I want to be single again' is true to the T. A lot of my married friends are bankrupt and have loans to pay for the next 20 years.

Three cheers to all the singles out there !